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August 10
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Back to spending days staring at a screen.

Back to hearing my mother yell at how terrible my grades are.
Anything less than A+ is horrid I suppose.
I fear I'm just a moron, because you hate seeing that B+.

A few A-'s and another couple basic A's but you will once again focus on the B's.
Stressing me out.

Stress, obsess, I'm just worthless.

The four question quick checks I can't aford to miss anything.
I will inevitably miss that third question and my grade will drop some more.

It would be easier to focus behind a desk.
With out you freaking out, and the Tv blaring.

But other kids are mean, I fear that they will bully me.
They whisper and I think they speak about me.

So I stay home, instead.
My fear of people, of walking those halls alone, lonely.

Another year.  

Maybe this time you won't critique me so harshly.
But I won't achieve the perfection of straight A+ 's .
I try and try and try, but sometimes I will fail.
Because I'm human.

Another year of giving up and self hatred.
I go to online school, and it sucks.
But its not as bad as regular.
Unless I have straight A+'s I won't be able to be happy with myself. 
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:iconkanade-takasei:
Kanade-Takasei Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014  Student Artist
I know completely how you feel, I hate school...... but I also don't want o stay home.
It just seems like nothing that happens at school an ever be good.
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:iconsarcasticcupcake5:
SarcasticCupcake5 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Exactly but of course my school is at home, don't want to stay home don't got anywhere else to go.
Packing for Meh Holiday  Shrug 
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:iconkanade-takasei:
Kanade-Takasei Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014  Student Artist
I'm sorry, that really stinks.
It'll be ok though, stick it out until the end and then you can move away and make it better!
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:iconsarcasticcupcake5:
SarcasticCupcake5 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:D (Big Grin) That's the plan!
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:iconkanade-takasei:
Kanade-Takasei Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014  Student Artist
Yay!
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:iconthevalkyriebladesman:
I've always had mixed feelings about school. On one hand, learning is amazing. I want to know everything I can about everything I can. But...At least in my school, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. The most I pick up is clarification on a topic I already knew about. So I most certainly know how you feel about not liking school, just for a different reason than yours. I dislike it because it isn't doing its job. I'm not learning there, and so it's worthless to me.
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:iconsarcasticcupcake5:
SarcasticCupcake5 Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Exactly, I've had that problem also, my 6th grade teacher read to us in class! A group of sixth graders listening to someone read while they whispered to eachother, drew, or napped! It was ridiculous, not to mention 90% of the things my math teacher taught us I'd already learned. I also like to know everything about everything, but I usually end up relearning things I've know for years.
Hopefully, now a a few years later,I can just learn more things outside of my online school, on my own time.
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:iconthevalkyriebladesman:
Indeed, learning at our own pace, on our own, tends to teach us what we actually what we want to know. I find that pursuing my interests ends up teaching me faster than a class. For instance, a few days ago, I found out about a correlation between finger lengths and testosterone exposure in the womb. How'd I find out? A silly Youtube video trying to discover the gender of an androgynous video game character. Completely random way to learn a new thing, but something that I find insanely interesting.
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:iconsarcasticcupcake5:
SarcasticCupcake5 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Exactly. :D (Big Grin) :brainstorm: Lightbulb 
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:iconbritheunicorn:
britheunicorn Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2014  New member
This is exactly how I feel about going back to school... hmm 
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