Back to spending days staring at a screen.
Back to hearing my mother yell at how terrible my grades are.
Anything less than A+ is horrid I suppose.
I fear I'm just a moron, perhaps I really am just stupid.
A few A-'s and another couple basic A's but you will once again focus on the B+.
As if I'm not already stressed out.
Stress, obsess, I'm just worthless.
The four question quick checks I can't afford to miss anything.
I will inevitably miss that third question and my grade will drop some more.
It would be easier to focus behind a desk.
With out you freaking out, and the Tv blaring.
But other kids are mean, I fear that they will bully me.
They whisper and I think they speak about me.
So I stay home, instead.
My fear of people, of walking those halls alone, lonely.
My social anxieties being allowed to grow stronger.
But maybe this time you won't critique me so harshly.
I won't achieve the perfection of straight A+ 's.
Even though thats why I strive for.
I try and try and try, but sometimes I will fail.
Because I'm human.
Another year of giving up and self hatred.
Another year just waiting to leave.